Tracee Ellis Ross – daughter of legendary singer Diana Ross – has opened up about going through perimenopause at 50 years old, dropping some incredible, insightful truths about motherhood, as well as being single and child-free.
Speaking on the We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle podcast, she challenged the societal assumption that having children is an innately central part of being a woman.
“Is it my fertility that is leaving me? Is it my womanhood? Or is it really neither?” she said. “I have to fight to hold my truth, because I have been programmed so successfully by the water we all swim in, by the water we all are served. And I feel fertile with creativity, full of power, more and more a woman than I’ve ever been. And yet that power that I was told I must use was not used.
“My ability to have a child is leaving me, but I don’t agree that that’s what fertile means, I don’t agree that that’s what woman means.”
Having not had children before going through perimenopause, Tracee describes looking at being childless (or child free) “with curiosity instead of heartbreak”.
“The heartbreak does come up, and I get to hold that gently and lovingly and then remind myself, ‘I woke up every morning of my life and I’ve tried to do my best, so I must be where I’m supposed to be.’”
She also put into words how her body has been feeling as she goes through the process of perimenopause, and honestly, there are both hilarious and heartbreaking moments in her account.
“I can feel my body’s ability to make a child draining out of me,” she said. “Sometimes I find it hilarious, as if there is a fire sale going on in my uterus, and someone’s in there screaming, ‘All things must go.’